An old, old whine…

Can anything be worse, or more boring, than a tired litany of physical complaints?

I have that headache again, that dull diffuse knot in the front of my brain that is not so bad as to stop me from doing much of anything, but just bad enough to make doing much of anything a pain and a bother. It reaches forward to both temples, and down in my teeth on one side.

My right shoulder hurts, with that sharp tight pain along the side of my neck that means I’ve been keyboarding too much, but I can’t really see giving up keyboarding because it’s what connects me to my last few tendrils of a grip on sanity. The pain leaves off along the collarbone, only take up again in the meat of my shoulder proper as an not-quite-cramping sort of ache.

And of course there’s always that thin, tight, threadbare ache across my upper back that seems to be there just to tell me I’m alive. My lower back is dull and tight, which is about as good as it ever gets anymore.

The chest pain I had yesterday is gone now – it’s like that. The docs tell me it’s an inflammation of the cartilage surrounding my sternum, and that it isn’t a heart attack because if it were A) it would be *hell* of a lot more painful than it is, and 2) I’d be dead already.

The “Worst Pain Of The Morning” Prize goes to the nasty little nest of daggers just inboard of my right hipbone: sharp and strong and just sub-nausea-inducing. It could be a benign cyst on my right ovary, it could be just gas, it could just be a random pain. The one thing it really couldn’t be is appendicitis, because if it were 1) it would be *hell* of a lot more painful than it is, B) I’d be running a high fever, and iii) I’d be more than likely be dead already.

I just took two more ibuprofen, and I could swear I heard my collective body of pain laughing and sneering down its metaphorical nose at those two small, orange, probably barely effectual, little tablets.


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